Sam Stall

Novelist. Journalist. Repository of Odd Information.

Three Cautionary Tales Illustrating Why Wal-Mart Is A Terrible Place To Pull Practical Jokes


1. Flint, Michigan, Wal-Mart cashier David Noordewier made the mistake of posting a quip on his MySpace page about how the nation’s average IQ would probably increase if bombs were dropped on all of his employer’s stores. Management got wind of the remark and instantly fired him. The company said he’d made a threat -- even though, as Noordewier pointed out, it wasn’t like he had a jet bomber in his backyard with which to carry it out.

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And even if he did, I'm sure it wouldn't be as awesome as mine ...


2. Conway, New Hampshire, resident Joha Turner, 18, thought that roaming around in his local Wal-Mart in an orange prison jumpsuit and handcuffs, furtively asking passersby where the hacksaws were sold, would be a hoot. And it probably was, right up until employees called the cops, who promptly placed Turner under arrest for disorderly conduct.


3. Two Oklahoma men, Cody Allen Sexton and Kenny Dean Andrews, thought it would be funny to drop a pornographic DVD into a player wired to six demo televisions in the electronics department of the Fort Smith, Arkansas, Wal-Mart. A horrified customer notified the store manager, who notified the cops, who carted Sexton and Andrews off to jail. The two were charged with a felony obscenity complaint.


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